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Poor but Happy: How to Overcome the Fear of Success

Everyone loves success stories. Some are inspired by it and the personalities behind such stories are applauded and thumbed up as being lucky. But it may surprise you to know that most people are afraid of success. Why? The primary reason is that those who fear success are not willing to pay the price to attain it. Have you ever heard the following statement?

“I’ll rather be poor and happy.”

“The reason I’m poor is because I am not greedy.”

“I am contented the way I am.”

The above are statements from people who have chosen to remain poor. Now why would someone choose to be poor when he or she can plan on being rich? Well, some people purposely chose to be poor, while others take the poverty route unknowingly.

“In the fertile land of promises, many have died of hunger.” – The Mafia Manager

                7 Reasons why people choose to be poor

1.            Laziness

2.            Ignorance

3.            Fear of taking risk

4.            Cynicism

5.            Unwillingness to change their perception

6.            Unwillingness to aim above mediocrity

7.            Unwillingness to pay the price of success

                How to identify people who are afraid of success

a.            They vehemently oppose change or any new idea outside their reality. They want to do things the old way.

b.            They are anti-capitalists

c.             They are cynics and pessimists

d.            They hide under the umbrella of religion to remain poor

e.            They abhor taking risk of any kind

f.             They have no income yielding investments except maybe their savings

g.            They see successful people as super humans or extra-ordinary beings

h.            They attribute success to luck

i.              They dislike learning and would rather watch T.V or surf the net

j.             They believe their live have been pre-destined by nature of some unseen force

                How to overcome the fear of success

i.              Be truthful to yourself and acknowledge your fears

ii.             Be open to new ideas

iii.            Be willing to learn

iv.           Think big

v.            Have the believe that success is a reward of tactical effort

Five Benefits of overcoming the fear of public speaking

Many people are simply afraid of speaking before a large crowd, but are you aware that one can stand to learn a lot simply by reaping the benefits of overcoming the fear of public speaking?

There are a lot of people who tend to neglect that aside from the professional advantages one can gain from overcoming their fear of speaking before a crowd, they can also benefit from it personally and even improve one’s character and personality. Do you want to overcome your fear of public speaking? Then below are five benefits you stand to gain if you take the pain to go through the process.

                Five Benefits of overcoming the fear of public speaking

 

1.            Increase in self confidence

One of the most notable benefits you can get from overcoming fear is self confidence. Overcoming the fear of public speaking builds self confidence in a person, especially making them more sociable compared to when they were previously allowing their fears getting the best of them or when they are faced with the situation of having to speak before a group of people. Self confidence also helps in creating a positive outlook and mental attitude in a person.

2.            High self esteem

Another benefit that you will gain from overcoming your fear of public speaking is increase in self esteem; which is how a person values or regards himself. This is another social trait that you can gain not only for the benefit of others, but also to the shaping of your character and personality.

3.            Mastery of the art communication skills

By being able to overcome the fear of speaking before a crowd, you can also gain mastery in the art of communication.

Many may not be aware of it but the secret to good communication skills also rely on a person’s ability to interact well. When a person is comfortable with speaking before a group of people, he or she tends to have more focus towards the topics for discussion and may be able to comprehend matters and topics as well.

When compared to those who are more afraid to interact, especially when they are more susceptible to the fear that can envelop them, making them think of other things aside from focusing on the topics at hand.

4.            Better listening skills

Another good thing that you can achieve when you overcome your fear of public speaking is better active listening skills, which could result to a better communication or speaking experience; not just for the benefit of the speaker but for the audience as well.

Active listening is as important as speaking well, since it is only through active listening that one gets to comprehend things that are being discussed or interacted upon, making discussions or interactions as comprehensive and as substantial as well.

5.            Stronger speaking fluency

Overcoming the fear of public speaking can also help you improve your speaking abilities, through proper voice projection and vocal proficiency as well. Getting the hang of speaking before a group of people can help a lot for those that may have difficulties or problems with projecting their clearly and pronouncing words correctly.

Being comfortable in front of people makes you feel less anxious, stressed or troubled, since you are less likely to experience the difficulty of being distracted from what is actually the real topic or concern that needs to be discussed.

As you can see, overcoming your fear of public speaking is not just aimed to help you become a better speaker, but can also improve your personality and character; thus making your social and personal life even more fulfilling and satisfying.

Self Help: How I Overcame my Fear of Public Speaking

Are you afraid to speak in the public? Do you want to overcome your fear of public speaking? If your answer to the two questions above is yes, then read on as I share with you my own personal experience on how I overcame my fear of public speaking.

If you think you are alone with this fear of public speaking; then think again. I also had the same fears and many people all over the world also share your fears to speak in public. I recall several incidents that occurred while I was growing up. As a child, I often got punished with the rest of my classmates for failing to answer the teacher’s question; even though I had the right answer within me.

I preferred to be punished with others than raise my hand to answer a question; my fear of public speaking was so strong that I would rather risked being punished in school than to see myself being exempted from punishment, simply because I answered a question.

If there was anything I hated most, it was standing out from the crowd; and public speaking was one thing I hate. I often missed school feigning illness just to avoid the debate classes organized by the school management. Now how did I overcome my fear of public speaking? That’s what I am going to share with you now.

In this article, I am going to share with you my step by step strategy to overcoming my fear of public speaking. If you are willing to learn and take some actions, then below is my ten step guide to overcoming your fear of public speaking.

                Self Help: How I Overcame my Fear of Public Speaking

 

1.            I acknowledged my fears

The first step I took to overcome my fear of public speaking was to acknowledge my fears. I wasn’t shy about it; I openly admitted that I was afraid to speak publicly. One of the mistakes people make is that they hide their fears; and this fear eats them up silently. They feign boldness on the outside but inside; they pray that the earth should open and swallow them.

The positive side of openly admitting your fears is that you will become more challenged to overcome it. Openly admitting your fears means you are facing your fears head on. It might earn you some mockery but it’s a way to go especially if you can use that mockery as leverage to boost your determination.

2.            I traced the root cause of this fear

The next step I took to overcome my fear of public speaking was to trace the root cause of the fear. I came to understand that the root cause of this fear was the mentality I grew up with. During my primary school days, I recall coming first in class term after term. I was happy and my parents were, but it put a strain between me and some of my childhood friends.

My friends began to pull back from me because they felt they were out of my league academically and it hurt me. I wanted to be like everyone else; that was where I developed the attitude to avoid “standing out.” If being outstanding was going to single me out of the crowd, then I didn’t want it.

Now having understood the cause of my fears, I decided to attack the root cause. I began to be me, regardless of what people said. I began to take on challenges, not because I loved challenges but I just wanted people to talk. This attitude pitched me against people who felt I was showing off but I didn’t care; I just wanted to be me.

3.            I developed a strong desire to overcome my fear of public speaking

To be sincere, I don’t think you can overcome your fear of public speaking if you don’t desire it strongly. I was able to overcome mine because I desired it. I wanted to express myself in public without an iota of fear and I was prepared to do whatever it takes to bring such desire into reality.

4.            I prepared my mindset to take whatever comes

I had a strong desire to overcome my fear of public speaking and also develop my public speaking skills. But deep down in me, I knew it wasn’t going to come easy; I knew there has to be a price and I was willing to pay it.

I prepared my mind to accept whatever comes; I knew the worst may come so I prepared to meet it in advance. I prepared to take the booing, mockery and rejection that may arise in the process of learning to speak confidently in public. So if you really want to overcome your fear of public speaking, then you must be prepared to take whatever comes.

5.            I kept an open mind

To overcome my fears, I kept an open mind. I knew I had to learn and learn real fast. Learning in this case is not the classroom kind of learning; it’s a type of lesson that can come in the form of suggestion, advice or even criticism.

6.            I learned from the masters

The next step I took to overcome my fear of public speaking was to seek advice from the masters. I began to read books and listen to tapes authored by people such as Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, etc. By reading the materials published by these great public speakers, I tapped into their wisdom and gained inspiration from them.

7.            I harnessed the power of positive affirmation

Another step I took to enhance my public speaking ability was to use positive affirmations. You might think it’s not effective but I stand to tell you that it works like magic. By using positive affirmations such as “I can do it” or “I know I am destined for this”, you will unconsciously boost your self esteem. Remember the bible says that the power of life and death is in the tongue, so learn to use the power of spoken words to your advantage.

8.            I developed the passion to teach

Public speaking is more or less teaching. Most great public speakers are teachers so if I am going to excel as a public speaker; if I am to overcome my fear of public speaking, then I have to develop the passion to teach. That was how I became a teacher; sharing information over the web, on platforms and through hard copy materials.

9.            I started small

Today, I speak on platforms; hold seminars and engage in one on one consultations but it was not so few years ago. I started small. I started out by practicing in front of a mirror; imagining myself standing on a stage. I worked on my body language and movement in my closet and from there; I proceeded to speaking for free. I also engaged in positive discussions and I wasn’t afraid to take a stand. I began to accept the crowd as a group of friends; never again was I to be scared of speaking in front of an audience.

10.          I became a confident speaker

After taking the nine simple steps above, I became a confident speaker. I can now speak to any capacity of audience provided I am well grounded on the subject. But I want you to know that I didn’t develop my public speaking skills overnight; I underwent a process that was triggered off by my desire to overcome my fear of public speaking.

As a final note, these are the exact steps I took to overcome my fear of public speaking. If you take a close observation, you will notice that they are very simple steps. Well, overcoming your fear of public speaking will not occur by just reading this article. It will only happen if you take action just as I took action. I wish you good luck.